tone-d_

Saturday, September 04, 2004

11:22 PM

HELP!!! I NEED HELPPPP!!! Dammit ar.. I still cannot study right now. Watching tv at the moment. Blardie me. Is there anyway that i can concentrate on my studies. K k... its not that i've not studied. I did. But not sufficient. Furthermore, most of what i'm practicing is not getting into my freaking head seh. Why?! whyyyyy??!! Shit Lar. I know why... It's all because of ---------. If anybody's gonna try to guess wat it is, dun even bother lar coz actualli there is nothing. I just put the dash for fun. No, im not having fun at the moment. And yes, im very nervous at the moment. And yes, im still not yet studying. And yes, i wish dat the test is gonna be easy. And yes, I am worrying too much. And yes, i have the reason to worry TOO much coz i have not studied well enough. Its never true when u say u want to do something, u would. Coz u will end up not doing it. Mayb it doesn't apply for everyone but it is a definite YES to me. Haizz. I made the effort of not going out today to do some studying at home. But the end product is dust.I didn't do nothing. OK, i did abit onli. But does it help? ARGHHHH!!!! This is making me frustrated sehh.. Tomm they gonna go climbasia. I REALLI wanta go but i need to continue studying. Wat shud i do eh? Can someone help me?? Please? Anyone? I noe that the urge to go would be there. Either i study like mad tonight and tomm morning, sumbat everything inside, den tomm go. Or i can take my time, study tonight, tomm morning, and de whole of tomm without the need to stress myself out or anything. There is the third option. I can study tonite, tomm morning, den go climbsia.There, while climbing i oso study. Den wen coming back time also study. At home continue to study and when i sleep, i will study in my dreams. Seems like a pretty good option but think i'll pass it. i will make de decision tomm by itself. for the moment, i'll continue watching the tv. Later on got the England match. So while waiting, i guess i can practice sumore. Hopefully the peaceful night with the cool airy breeze and the ever relaxing atmosphere would allow me to absorb watever im studying. Yes, im talking crap now. Nope, im not sleepy yet. And for the first time, im not hungry when im blogging. (or am i?????)
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dammit seh. becoz of my studies, i cancelled my plan of shopping. actualli i ready already want to go out but last minute cancel. see how THE books can ruin your life. when i have children, i wouldn't let these books ruin their life. ( fer anyone who likes to see those gruesome and disgusting faces of people who are killed and distorted, go and watch taking lives, coz im watching it at the moment) mebbe i shud raise my kids to become a sports person. A fulltime soccer player or a climber or a snowboarder or a skater or a surfer or a musician. (damn the show is gruesome!!!!!) Like dat they dun need to touch books. Alternatively, i can get out of here and go to a country where theres farms. Den i go make my own farm. Make my life self-sufficient. All i want i need. Den my children can continue the farm and dun need to study oso. but at the end of the day, i still wanta reach my goals of becoming a successful person. i still wanta raise my children to be successful people. someone who can contribute to the world. someone great. someone.......... shit i think i like crapping of the line already seh. hmm.. think i need a time manager seh. tell me when to do wat. kan bagos macam tu. wait i dun need to be scared of like wasting my time or anything. anyone??
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enuff crapping and start working. so i think i gots to start mugging now ar. like dat enuff time for the England game. Hopefully they win. but i want them to lose. but i want them to lose. but i want them to win. but i want them to lose. im such a contradicting person. oh yeah. another thing. i realise something. i keep talking to myself in my head. is dat ok????? or is dat REALLLI bad. do i need to seek professional assistance?? yes? no? dunno? heck ar. i tok to my head as and when i wanna. package due in 14++ days. SOOOO long.
word(s) of the day: - (coz i didn't go out)

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